Amends to My Home Group.

Dear Family,

I would like to thank you for reading this and giving me the opportunity to make amends for having gone slightly against the spirit of 2 of our traditions during Wednesday’s meeting. I have made my apologies to the chair and have briefly spoken to the speaker of that meeting. Now I must address my fellow group members, but in particular the newcomer, who may have been offended or upset by my words or actions. I apologize if my forceful and passionate manner of sharing in defense of NA was in any way off-putting or made anyone feel uncomfortable. Our 3rd Tradition strongly encourages us to be "free from judgment, because only in that way can we truly be of service to others and carry our message in a loving way." That same tradition states that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using. Anyone may come into these rooms and share what’s in their heart and soul, except as our 4th tradition states: “in matters affecting groups or NA as a whole.” Judging or rejecting anyone, either through intolerance or from ignorance of spiritual principles can be for some equal to a death sentence. However, as a number of the 12 Concepts point out, as an active Trusted Servant to this group, I have a moral and spiritual obligation to promptly address any issue which violates the spirit and intent of our steps and traditions. Where I failed was in addressing the issue in a loving way and for that I'm sincerely sorry.

During Wednesday’s meeting I crossed-talked when the speaker asked if we use the "Promises" that people in AA use. I quickly answered “No, We Don’t” loudly because our NA founders made a conscious decision to reject them as they did not serve the spiritual intent of our own recovery promise. We chose not to adopt AA’s Promises” because they speak of the promise of social acceptability and financial security as a result of abstaining from alcohol. In my experience, the lure of material gain, professional success or social acceptability have never been enough of an incentive for me or other addicts to stop using. In fact, for many of us it only fed our denial and made our enslavement just that much greater. That made it impossible for some us to break through the denial and acknowledge we have a fatal disease. Several of the AA founders, including Dr. Bob and Bill Wilson in their later years admitted publicly they were struggling with their addiction to drugs, and shared how their struggle with addiction continued for years while being "sober" and active members in AA.
 
Though they supported our fellowship when NA first emerged in NY, Kentucky, and California, both Dr. Bob and Bill W. refused to participate in our fellowship to deal with their addictions because they felt it would jeopardize their standing in AA and endanger their own sobriety by not being able to carry over their sober time. Instead they spoke to NA members on a weekly basis and exchanged letters with our Founders and others as a means to arrest their disease.

I myself tried staying clean in AA, before there were any NA meetings in NYC, and  kept failing, I began believing that I would never get clean and there was no hope for me. That belief was almost fatal as I unsuccessfully tried suicide. I now know that I cannot get clean, let alone stay clean, with AA’s principles or literature, because I could never identify with one substance as being my problem. My problem was never any one substance, my problem was the disease of addiction manifested by various compulsive and obsessive behaviors which used a variety of substances as a means of self-destruction. Those of us who have been in NA awhile are very clear about this.

As our opening states: "Our program is a set of principles written so simply that we can follow them in our daily lives. The most important thing about them is that they work. There are no strings attached to NA. We are not affiliated with any other organizations, we have … no pledges to sign, no promises to make to anyone." The only promise our literature makes is this: "If you want we have to offer and you’re willing to make the effort to get it," [the steps of NA] will make your recovery possible. Only then are we able to experience freedom from active addiction. I know NA works because it has kept me clean against all odds and under circumstances and in ways other fellowships could not help.  Prior to NA's existence I tried them all!

When speakers share about anything other than our program, it not only confuses the newcomer, it divides us and tears apart the very fabric of our recovery.  Our unity stems from one common message, one common goal, which is the spirit of our first tradition, represented during our NA meetings. A mixed message - a hodgepodge of NA and other fellowships, diverts us from the primary purpose given to us by our predecessors, to carry the message of hope and freedom, in order to benefit from the spiritual integrity that is our program of recovery. We are the only fellowship that squarely aims at the disease of addiction and does not focus on a particular substance or behavior. After many years of people dying and struggling with the disease of addiction, we have learned that its how the disease manifests within us and not a substance that destroys us.

Its important that speakers share about their NA experiences in NA because sometimes we get only one shot to reach a newcomer and then they’re gone. Getting outsiders to carry the message would be like asking Coach Ditka (former coach of the Bears) to substitute for Coach Tomlin (current coach of the Pittsburg Steelers) on Superbowl Sunday in the belief that anyone with enough knowledge of football, can guide players of an established team to advance the ball successfully down the field, with a new playbook some have never even seen.

Saying that all fellowships are the same, as our speaker shared, means that my experience, and that of millions of other addicts like Bill W., who died using drugs, have no hope of recovering anywhere, if they are unable to recover in AA or another fellowship. That is a very dangerous statement to make, for if that statement were true, the founders of NA would never have needed to create NA. Had that statement been true then I would have been able to get clean and stay clean at age 16 when I first went to AA, and then again at 18, and then again at age 24. No other fellowship was able to help me get clean and stay clean because NA was the only fellowship that dealt with my disease and not substances.

I really hope that now that I’ve explained why I cross-talked, within the context of my experience, you will forgive me for my passionate misbehavior and forgive me with a loving understanding for trying to preserve our steps, traditions and concepts against dangerous mis-interpretation. Thank you all for your time, patience and I pray forgiveness. I welcome any comments or dialogue on this letter.

I remain in loving service,
M/