Grateful for my sponsor!

Hi Family,

My name's Journey and I'm a very grateful recovering addict from New York City. First, I'd like to thank my HP for another day clean. Next I'd like to say
congratulations to the celebrants and welcome to the newcomer! Even though you may not say anything I know you're out there and I want you to know I'm glad
you're here lurking and reading. Next to a face-to-face meeting, its the next best place to be, reading recovery! I also want to thank those who do service here. To
those who shared online with me last week... man, you guys were kicking it strong yet again. Thank you!

"One of the most profound changes in our lives is in the realm of personal relationships. Our earliest involvements with others often begin with our sponsor. We find that trusting others with more experience is a strength rather than a weakness. Our experience reveals that working the steps is our best guarantee against a relapse. Our sponsors and friends can advise us on how to work the steps. We can talk over what the steps mean. They can help us to prepare for the spiritual experience of living the steps. Asking God as we understand Him for help improves our understanding of the steps. When we are prepared, we must try out our newly found way of life. We learn that the program won work when we try to adapt it to our life. WE must learn to adapt our life to the program." Basic Text, 6th Ed., p. 57.

I just love this chapter! It's so chock full of wisdom for those hoping to recover from their disease. Whenever there's a newcomer at my home group that comes in
and doesn't get a sponsor by the 30th day, I gently suggest to them that they should begin reading the basic text. I say to them: "Now as you read you'll have
questions, so if you're not sure who to ask feel free to call me. Invariably that helps them overcome their shyness because now they have something to talk about.
I have found that the biggest stumbling block for newcomers using the phone, is not knowing who to call or even what to say. So I suggest they should practice with
me until they find someone they're comfortable with. That always helps them feel better and the best part is that they start practicing using the phone. Some of them
eventually find a fantastic sponsor and having practiced with me made it easier for the newcomer to approach someone else.

Of those women who have stayed with me, it has been an awesome journey of recovery. I am a sponsor who is present and available though my life is full. My
sponsor was a great example of how to be a good listener, how to be present, how to be available and how to set healthy positive boundaries so that she would
not be overwhelmed. Since there were so few women with clean time she wound up sponsoring almost 30 women my first year. However, she did certain things to
ensure that we would succeed. I'll share them here for the benefit of anyone who is living somewhere in the world where the rooms are small and the members with
clean time are small in number.

When my first two sponsors went out, used and died, she offered to temporarily sponsor me. She asked me to go for coffee after the meeting with some of her
sponsees in case I had questions for her or just wanted a good cup of coffee and some fun company. I did go and found myself liking most of the nearly 30 women
that were there. Before going home she asked me to read the entire white booklet and for me to try and come to the next meeting 30 minutes early so we could sit
and talk and have some one-on-one time.

When we met the next day, my new sponsor/Betsey, asked me how I was feeling and if I had any questions for her. Since I didn't she asked if she could share with
me how she worked with her sponsees so that she could give equal time to everyone. As a temporary sponsee she said it would not be necessary to call her every
day because I would never find her home, because she was always at a meeting. So, the best way for us to stay in touch is by us spending time together and talking
before the meeting. I would have my special time with her twice a week that nobody could infringe upon or interrupt, unless it was an emergency. Once a week our
sponsee family would meet to go over a step and spend time getting to know each other in the process. Betsey explained that since I didn't have 90 days all she
wanted me to do was to learn, absorb the spiritual principles of this program by seeing them in action and get to know people with spiritual principles and a solid
recovery.

That set up worked out really well. Every few days or so Betsey would ask if I would be interested in joining a few of my sister sponsees to do service as they would
really like me to join them. As I tagged along with my sister sponsees I got to know some phenomenal women who involved me in service by helping them carry
literature, supplies, helping set up, etc. It made me feel wanted, appreciated, a part of something greater than me, and more importantly, I got to learn about the
traditions, at the same time as I was learning about the steps.

On my 91st day, Betsey asked me if I cared to formalize our relationship. I smiled and explained to her that this was very different from the very vague, elusive
relationships I had been in during my active addiction. I said: "I don't know this is all so sudden, I don't know if I can commit. Then she began to smile. I continued
by asking her: "How do I know this will work out? What if I find out that you're not the one for me. What if I find what you have to offer is not what I'm looking for? On and on I went with silly questions until we both cracked up in howling laughter. That night we formalized our relationship and we never looked back.

One of her requirements for her sponsees was a complete medical check-up before our first anniversary. It was the best rule she ever had. Shortly after my 11th
month clean I was diagnosed in the early stages of cervical cancer. She and my recovery stood by me through that entire lengthy grueling process. The tables
would turn 18 years later when she was diagnosed in the middle stage of breast cancer. Having gone through the process with me, my sponsee sisters knew exactly
what to do. We all worked through our feelings and fears together and were able to use our strong foundation in recovery to deal with all of it.

I was truly privileged to have an incredible woman guide me and others through our recovery and even more honored to be able to be of support to her in her last days.
The day my sponsor died she was surrounded by some of the most incredible women I have ever had the pleasure to grow up with. It was truly a testament to the
spiritual principles of this how we are able to unite and provide love in support with all the physical challenges she confronted over the 5 years she battled that disease.

I just want to thank God for having led her to me and for having the opportunity to be loved, supported and guided by one of his earthly angels. Thank you all for being
here and supporting this digital room so that others may recover too.